Javelina Hunting

In many ways, Tucson is one of the most relaxing towns in the US. Aside from the Veterans Day parade (which woke me up yesterday at the ridiculously early hour of 10am), not much happens. The most recent scandal involved some kids throwing pies at Ann Coulter during her speech at Tucson's Centennial Hall. They missed. I learned some time ago, however, that Tucson has a dark secret: javelinas.

I have yet to see a javelina, but then again I've never wandered around the foothills alone. They look like warthogs, with big tusks and bad tempers. And, they travel in packs. I have heard stories of groups of javelinas attacking cars, small animals, people. I have suggested that Todd and I go javelina hunting, but he doesn't quite fancy the idea of driving around the desert in search of something that might dent his car.

Can one hunt javelinas without assistance? It's not as if I'm going to shoot one, throw it on my shoulders and drag it home. I just want a picture, and the thrill of the chase of course. But what if they charge me, or chase me, or god forbid, catch me. I need a car, preferably one larger than my brother's Saab, perhaps armored. Besides, though I did acquire a drivers license this week and in theory can drive, the reality of driving is another animal altogether. I haven't been behind the wheel in three years, and no one is brave enough to give their car so I can start now. I don't blame them.

So will I ever realize my dream of javelina hunting? Will Tucson's dark side ever show its ugly, tusked face? I suppose I'll have to find out next time, since I'm leaving Tucson tomorrow. But I'll have to add this to my list of lifelong goals. Camera-shy javelinas beware; someday I'll learn to drive.

For a more, um, Arizona-centric(?) view of javelina-hunting: http://www.javelinahunter.com/