a conversation between george w. bush and vladimir putin
B: Well, good mornin' to ya, Vladdy!
P: Yes, yes, good morning Mr. Bush.
B: How're thengs out thar in...what's yer empire called again?
P: Russia. I am the president of Russia. And it's a country, not a empire.
B: Sure, sure, yeah, I know, keep it on the "DL" (as the young people say). Mutual agreement. But really, padre, Senior told me you got some oil bastard the other day. Are you gonna fry'em?
P: (Grumble)
B: Ya know, it seemed to me like that guy - what was his name? - Khodorkovsky, was judged guilty prior to having a fair trial.
P: Well haughty haw haw. Are you the pot or the kettle?
B: Huh?
P: My sources tell me your little project down in Cuba has been refered to as a "gulag," and let me tell you, I know what that means. And let's not even mention that scandel in Bagram, or the one in Abu Ghraib. Now now, don't get me wrong, I know you've got to do what you've got to do (you know, like when you've got Muslim separatists in Chechnya, you've got to bomb them out), but I'm not calling you out on it.
B: Oh Vladdy, you know allegations like those are ad-af-as-absurd. Yeah, absolutely, totally, completely absurd. Crazy as Kerry in the White House, and made by "people who hate America." [Stop, yes, that bit in quotes, he actually DID say that.]
P: The report was drawn up by Amnesty International.
B: Exactly! All these people wantin' amnesty! Amnesty is evil! Satan's spawn!
P: Do you even know what 'amnesty' means?
B: Well, yeah, of course I do.
P: What?
B: You know, the opposite of freedom, justice, democracy!
P: Well no, not really. Actually, not at all.
B: Hmm...well I'm the fudgin' pres-i-dent of the US of A. Does it really matter?
P: I suppose not.
B: Darn straight! Hey, let's go sneak a nip from that ther' moonshine you brought wit ya while Laura's out readin' to kids!
P: Okay. But it's called vodka.
B: Oh, Vladdy, always a stickler for the truth!
*Note, aside from that bit in the quotes, this is a product of my own head. I don't think Bush drinks anymore.
P: Yes, yes, good morning Mr. Bush.
B: How're thengs out thar in...what's yer empire called again?
P: Russia. I am the president of Russia. And it's a country, not a empire.
B: Sure, sure, yeah, I know, keep it on the "DL" (as the young people say). Mutual agreement. But really, padre, Senior told me you got some oil bastard the other day. Are you gonna fry'em?
P: (Grumble)
B: Ya know, it seemed to me like that guy - what was his name? - Khodorkovsky, was judged guilty prior to having a fair trial.
P: Well haughty haw haw. Are you the pot or the kettle?
B: Huh?
P: My sources tell me your little project down in Cuba has been refered to as a "gulag," and let me tell you, I know what that means. And let's not even mention that scandel in Bagram, or the one in Abu Ghraib. Now now, don't get me wrong, I know you've got to do what you've got to do (you know, like when you've got Muslim separatists in Chechnya, you've got to bomb them out), but I'm not calling you out on it.
B: Oh Vladdy, you know allegations like those are ad-af-as-absurd. Yeah, absolutely, totally, completely absurd. Crazy as Kerry in the White House, and made by "people who hate America." [Stop, yes, that bit in quotes, he actually DID say that.]
P: The report was drawn up by Amnesty International.
B: Exactly! All these people wantin' amnesty! Amnesty is evil! Satan's spawn!
P: Do you even know what 'amnesty' means?
B: Well, yeah, of course I do.
P: What?
B: You know, the opposite of freedom, justice, democracy!
P: Well no, not really. Actually, not at all.
B: Hmm...well I'm the fudgin' pres-i-dent of the US of A. Does it really matter?
P: I suppose not.
B: Darn straight! Hey, let's go sneak a nip from that ther' moonshine you brought wit ya while Laura's out readin' to kids!
P: Okay. But it's called vodka.
B: Oh, Vladdy, always a stickler for the truth!
*Note, aside from that bit in the quotes, this is a product of my own head. I don't think Bush drinks anymore.
posted by bethany at 10:11
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